susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
