Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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