it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
