I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize