By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
