Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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