Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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