ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
