Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize