making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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