Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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