No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
