i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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