I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
