I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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