Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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