Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
