And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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