So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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