I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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