I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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