This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
