there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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