You just made me feel so damn special
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
