South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
