weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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