dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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