You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
