Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
