whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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