can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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