This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
