i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
