that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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