Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He felt like a one man threesome
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
