Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
