You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
last night I used snow as a chaser
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
