Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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