Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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