thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
