it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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