I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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