There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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