i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
