shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
