I can't watch pbs sober anymore
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize