You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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