Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize