we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
