Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
