so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
