You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
