This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
