He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
