If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
