Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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