Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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