Where are you?
In a non slutty way
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
