Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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