...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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