Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
